26 January 2011


Hello hello

This week I started a new food regime.

For more than a year now, I haven't been able to put on weight. I lost weight gradually during 2009/2010, going from 55kg to 45kg... I didn't do any diet, I don't have any eating disorder either. At the beginning I think it might have been stress, so no matter what how much I ate, I didn't seem to gain any weight. Then, I had quite a hard time after finding my self jobless for a while, which was more on the depressing side. And then finally at my current job I just work too much, maximum 14 hours a day, usually 11 hours day... During all this time I kept eating normally, I didn't feel any difference until I realised most of my jeans and skirts were way too big for me and it wasn't because the clothes had stretched. I also realized that the amount of food I ate was smaller, maybe my stomach got smaller?? I don't even know if that is possible, haha.

Anyways, I knew I was underweight, but I never gave it too much thought. Basically because I eat just the same amount has my colleagues, so I am eating normal! I didn't see any problem in being skinny as long as I knew I wasn't doing anything to damage my health. But... After getting to 45kg I was really scared, I just kept losing weight without any reason! And recently I started thinking about the Summer and how unattractive it is to have my skinny bones sticking out of my skin... If I talk to people about it, the usual response is the same "eat more!", but I do eat a lot, loads of calorie filled stuff, cuz I never cared about calories. It makes me a bit down that people don't seem to understand that I keep losing weight despite eating the same as them...

So I decided to start my diet to gain weight! I read as much as possible on the web about the matter, cuz I don't like going to doctors at all... So apparently the waist size is more important to determine how vulnerable you are to heart diseases than BMI. I'm 169cm and right now I'm 47kg, so my BMI is 16, which means that I am underweight. The waist size, just under the bone and above the hips, should be smaller than your hips size. But mine is bigger... So all in all, comparing these too results I am more likely to develop weak bones, absent periods (yes, it happened before), iron deficiency, heart disease, diabetes, cancer... Isn't it scary??!

Finally, after more than an year, I decided to seriously start gaining weight! Let's say it's my new year's resolution, hehe. I'm struggling to find healthy ways of doing so, actually. I shouldn't just get myself full of junk food everyday... Potatoes and bread are a good alternative. And I just discovered that apples make you hungry! I can't believe I spent 23 years without knowing that XD
I will start my day with an apple, then have some toast or sandwich for breakfast. As I get full very quickly, I guess it's better to distribute my meals during the day, easting maybe 5 meals per day, even not big quantity. I always take my vitamins in the morning, so I will keep that. Also some exercise is good, of course. Especially running and bicycle, which will make you more hungry and stronger. Forget about aerobics, that's just gonna keep you losing weight.

That's all for now. I'm targeting at least 49kg, 50kg would be good. So I will try this out for one month. If I don't see any improvement, not even gained 1 miserable kg, then I will see the doctors... Cuz there's also the possibility of overactive thyroid gland, but let's not think about it now!^^; I will update results every week (I hope!).

Actually today I really wanted to talk about how I am so into Nozomi Sasaki recently, but somehow I just ended up writing loads about my weight matter, so I will leave it for a next time.

Good night!


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